HOW CHRIST CALLED ME TO LOVE UNTIL IT HURTS
A few weeks ago, I shaved my head bald.
I initially planned on only donating the minimum eight inches of hair for a charity event at my school. When I told people I was going to donate my hair, several people asked me, “Are you shaving your head bald?” My answer was a resounding, “Heck no!”
I loved my hair. I would never shave it all off. But then I began to ask myself: Why not? What am I holding onto so tightly that I would not be willing to offer to the Lord? What do I love more than Him?
GIVING IT ALL
Scripture gives us several examples of people who loved with all they had. In 1 Kings 17 we see the woman who gave the last of her flour and oil to feed Elijah, trusting God would provide for her and her son. In the Gospels, we see the woman in Bethany who poured out her expensive oil on Jesus out of love for Him. The disciples were indignant and did not understand how she could be so wasteful, but Jesus commended her for it. We also see the poor widow who gave her two coins. Instead of giving from her surplus like the rich, she gave all that she had.
Unlike the woman in the Old Testament, I could have just kept my hair for my own comfort. I could have taken the disciples viewpoint on the woman of Bethany and said that cutting off my hair would just be a waste. I could have been like the rich and just given the eight inches of hair from my surplus.
This is not what Jesus was calling me to do. In Matthew 19:21, He says, “If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
This is how I am made to love. I am to give all I have away to be filled up with the treasures of Heaven. I am to release the baggage of myself so that I can freely follow Christ.
As someone who is not a fashion icon and wears minimal make-up, some days I felt like my hair was all I had to signify my feminine identity. Yet, I only had my hair because it was a gift from God. God gave me my outward beauty, and I want to offer that right back to him.
LOVE UNTIL IT HURTS
Don’t get too worried—I’m not saying everyone should shave their heads bald. This was the invitation Jesus offered to me. He invites each of us to make sacrifices in ways unique to our own experiences. The question then becomes, how much is Christ asking me to give?
Mother Teresa offers us an answer. She says, “Love, to be real, must cost, must hurt, must empty us of self.”
We are supposed to love until it hurts.
This looks different for each of us. For me, it was cutting off all of my hair instead of the comfortable eight inches. Sometimes, it means spending time with a friend in need even though I have a lengthy to-do list calling my name. It can even be as simple as denying myself a Starbucks run in order to save money.
The level that we are called to give looks different in every situation. Yet, in order for it to be a true sacrifice—in order for it to be love—it must involve some sort of self-denial. It must cost. It must hurt. It must empty us of self.
THE PARADOX
Why do we offer sacrifices? If Jesus already paid the price, why do we have to suffer?
The sacrifices I am suggesting are not just suffering for the sake of suffering. It is about offering gifts out of love just like you might save the last piece of cake for your family member or moving across the country to be with a significant other. Jesus loves us so much that He gave His very life for us so that we might have ours. We are called to give that back to Him.
Mother Teresa describes suffering as “the kiss of Jesus—a sign that you have come so close to Him that He can kiss you.”
When we suffer, we are more fully united to Jesus on the cross. When we share in His death, we also share in His resurrection. By emptying us of ourselves, we make space for Him to fill us up. When we die to ourselves, we rise again in Him.
Just look at Mary—by her Fiat, she offered up her entire being for Jesus. She denied herself her body. She suffered immensely at watching her son’s passion and crucifixion. Yet, she reigns as Queen of Heaven and Earth for all of eternity because no one loved Jesus more than she did.
I invite you to look at your life and see how you can love until it hurts. It might be in a grandiose gesture, but it also might just be in the small things. How is Jesus asking you to sell all you have and follow Him? How is He asking you to empty you of yourself? What cross is He inviting you to die on, so that you can share in His resurrection?
“I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”
St. Teresa of Calcutta
ABOUT MOLLY
Molly Link, originally from rural Colorado, is going into her third year as an undergraduate at the University of Notre Dame. She studies Theology, Business Economics, and Catholic Social teaching. After first encountering the Lord at age 15, He hasn’t stopped wrecking her life since (always for the better, of course)! THANK YOU Molly for sharing your beautiful soul and witness with us!
