Comparing Happiness

Have you ever struggled with being happy for other people’s happiness? Even if they are your closest friends, do you sometimes find yourself wanting what they have or wishing your life was better than there’s? Although I hate to admit it, I struggle with this sometimes.

I recently attended the wedding of two very close friends of my boyfriend and I. It was an absolutely beautiful wedding, and I was so incredibly happy for them both. However, by the end of the evening, I found myself getting sad and I wondered why. Why in the world would an ounce of me be sad right now when I just witnessed the happiest day in the lives of my dear friends?

I realized that the sadness creeping in on me was just the devil trying to get me to compare my life to that of my friends. He wanted me to give into the temptation that I was fighting: jealousy.

The Trap

It’s true that I desire marriage and a family one day, but I recognize that time is not yet. However, instead of waiting on the Lord’s timing in my life, the devil wanted me to compare the stage that my relationship with my boyfriend is in now to that of our friends getting married. He wanted me to fall into my temptation and be jealous of them. It was like a trap.

However, I wasn’t going to let myself give in. I knew that there was absolutely no reason for me to be sad when I have a wonderful relationship and a beautiful life!

Theodore Roosevelt once called comparison the thief of joy and rightly so. For in comparing ourselves to others, we don’t see the beauty in our own lives, but are just looking at the beauty in other peoples’. It also opens up to the temptation of jealousy.

In James, Chapter 3 of the Bible it says,

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from about is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.”

Applying Virtue

What kind of life do we want? Do we want one of jealousy and selfish ambition, or one of pure and selfless love of our neighbor?

The Lord wants us to be humble and desire the best for those around us. Yet far too often we fall short into the trap of comparison and jealousy in our lives. Instead of being happy with what we have and what the Lord has blessed us with, we compare our happiness level to those of people around us. The culture that we live in tells us that we need to compete for everything to have the best– the best job, the best house, the best relationship, the best body, the best the best the best!

But between you and me, I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to be the best by the world’s standards.

Competition is hard enough for me on the tennis court. I don’t want to deal with it outside my day job.

Lucky for me though, I don’t have to. Christ is not interested in how holy we are in compared to others, but rather that we do OUR very best compared with ourselves. 

And that applies to everything in life. Whether it be our faith journey, our job, our relationships, or other things, the Lord requires the best from us, but He doesn’t require that we be the best. He doesn’t give everyone equal talents and abilities, which is why we must not compare ourselves by the world’s standards since we aren’t all on an equal playing field.

We can’t all be the prettiest, the smartest, have the nicest house, the best job, but we can ALWAYS become holy and became saints. And that’s what Christ wants.

The Bottom Line

So bottom line: Don’t compare. It steals the joy that is all around you and sets your sights on earthly and material concerns that are fleeting. Rather, focus on the beauty in your life and pursue virtue. Your life is beautiful, you just have to take a moment to look around for the beauty sometimes.

Today, instead of looking at what others have that you don’t, or what others do better than you, take a moment today and write down what YOU do well. Write down the things in your life that bring you joy and the gifts the Lord has blessed you with. If it’s an activity, do that activity more often. If it’s people, hang out with them more. But write them down and schedule them into your day.

Don’t waste time comparing. Rather, find your little joys in life and celebrate those.

From the depths of my soul to yours,

Josie