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Strong Singles Make Strong Couples

Tips to Make the Most of Your Single Days

Strong Singles Make Strong Couples </h1><h3>Tips to Make the Most of Your Single Days</h3>

I don’t need a man in my life to make me happy. While I want a best friend to journey through life and pursue heaven with, I know it’s not necessary to my happiness. But I haven’t always been this way… 

I remember being curled up in a ball my sophomore year of college, crying into a pillow on my bedroom floor, pleading with God, “I just want to know what it’s like to fall in love!”

I felt a void in my life; a desire to give of myself and to love another. I thought a relationship would fill that space, but I realized once God gave me what I wanted, I still wanted more. I wasn’t secure in who I was and searched for validation in my relationship, which put unnecessary pressure and expectations on it. Looking back, I wouldn’t have grown into the woman I am today if I was still in that relationship. 

God knows exactly what I need, which is probably why I’ve been single for the last few years. I’ve needed this time alone with Christ to allow myself to gain all my confidence from Him. I know that in becoming content in my singleness, I am preparing my heart for my Vocation and my future spouse.

If we cannot be secure in who we are as single people, how the heck are we supposed to be secure in a relationship? 

Strong Singles Make Strong Couples

I don’t cry myself to sleep over my relationship status anymore. Jesus is the source and summit of my daily joy, and I’m not searching for someone to fill that role. I’m no longer expecting a man to fill me up with emotional, physical, and spiritual happiness. Since I know I’m already loved infinitely, rejection doesn’t hurt so bad and it’s easy to keep my standards high. I’m not going to commit to a relationship unless I’m head over heels about a guy because I’m too happy living my single life with Jesus to settle for less than the best. And you shouldn’t either. 

Strong singles make strong couples. If you can’t be happy alone, you’ll never be happy with another.You will only smother your significant other with pressure and expectations to fulfill you when that is not their job. 

Until we are comfortable and confident in our singleness—until we allow Jesus to fill us up daily with the inner peace and joy only He can provide—we are not truly ready for a relationship. 

Find yourself single and crying on your bedroom floor, pleading with God? Honey, you don’t need a relationship. What you need is already there in front of you, waiting for you to run into His arms. 

Tips for Embracing Singleness

For all you singles out there praying for your Vocation and future spouse, waiting for something to happen, I feel you! But don’t be discouraged. God is giving us a beautiful gift in this season of life. Here are some ways we can make the most of it:

  1. INVEST IN THINGS YOU ENJOY. One of the biggest blessings of the single life is you have more time to pursue your dreams. Don’t waste it. What are your passions? Are there things you’ve always wanted to try? Try them! Invest in things you enjoy and allow the Holy Spirit to work in your life, offering your passions to Him.
  2. COMMIT TO PRAYER. If you can develop a deep prayer life and weekly routine now as a single person, your heart will be better prepared for life as a spouse and mother/father later in life. Peace comes from spending time in silence, in quiet prayer. Build a habit of prayer and start viewing silence as your oasis from the noise and distraction of the world.
  3. HAVE DATE NIGHTS WITH JESUS. Let yourself fall in love with your Creator. Get to know the One who came down from heaven, lived, suffered, died, and rose for you! He loves you personally and infinitely and wants a deep and intimate relationship with you. We can only cultivate this by spending time with Him. Find yourself lonely on a Friday night? Sit in a quiet empty Church or find a 24-hour adoration chapel in your area. Run to Jesus and let Him remind you of His relentless love for you. Let Him be all you truly need. As St. Augustine said, “To fall in love with God is the greatest romance; To seek Him, the greatest adventure; To find Him, the greatest human achievement.”
  4. ACTIVELY PURSUE YOUR VOCATION. If you feel called to marriage and are in a place where you feel like you can date, put yourself out there! Don’t just sit around and think God will drop someone on your doorstep. You have to give Him the opportunity to work! Be bold. Allow yourself to get uncomfortable. Dating can seem exhausting, but it’s necessary to learn your likes and dislikes in a future spouse. Text that guy or girl you like. Ask him or her to grab coffee. Signup for that dating app or Catholic Match. It’s humbling, but to actively pursue your vocation you kind of have to make a move. 😉 
  5. TRUST IN GOD’S TIMING. God desires your greatest good always. Which means if you’re single now, it’s for a good reason. Maybe he wants you to use the time to commit to your passion projects or develop deep friendships. Maybe He wants you to draw closer to Him before He brings someone else into your life. All is gift. All is grace. Don’t waste your singleness. Trust in His timing and all will be well. 

From the depths of my soul, 

Josie

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