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The Problem With Scruples

Learning to trust in God's mercy: a spiritual guide from St. Therese.

The Problem With Scruples </h1><h3>Learning to trust in God's mercy: a spiritual guide from St. Therese.</h3>

I’ve always had a natural desire to follow God’s commandments and do His will in my life– a result of growing up in a devout Catholic family. But sometimes I tend to take these good desires to the extreme by becoming scrupulous, or obsessive compulsive in my faith life.

Even though I learned the difference between venial and mortal sin at an early age, I recall moments in high school and even college when my biggest fear was to “accidentally” commit a mortal sin and separate myself from God.

I was scared to offend God, not necessarily because of how much I loved Him, but because of how much I feared His judgement. I didn’t want to do anything that would separate me from Him and the possibility of heaven. I reasoned with myself thinking that if I frequented confession and stayed clear of all the “really bad” or serious sins, then I would be good.

It was almost as if I wanted to take it upon MYSELF to get to heaven, instead of relying on God’s mercy. Because the truth is… I didn’t trust Him enough. I didn’t trust that He wanted me to get to heaven even more than I wanted to.

And let me tell ya, it was exhausting.

For All The Scrupulous Out There

You see, the problem with scruples isn’t that our actions are bad. It’s a good thing to desire heaven, honor God’s commandments, receive the sacraments and pray.

However, scrupulosity becomes harmful to our souls when we start relying on our OWN merits and actions and not God’s grace to get us to heaven. When we start fearing God’s judgement more than accepting His mercy.

We should perform every action out of love for God, not fear of Him. Therefore, scrupulosity is often a rejection of God’s mercy! We get so caught up in the details of trying to be perfect that we forget Whose we are.

So for the person out there who can struggle with scruples like I can, this is for you! It’s time to chill, follow the Lord, and trust in His mercy. But first, we’re going to let one of the greatest saints of modern times guide us in how to do that exactly.

The Little Way

St. Therese of Lisieux is one of the best saints to teach us how to trust in God’s mercy. As a cloistered Carmelite nun from a small town in France, Therese didn’t really encounter many people outside her convent. She died in the late nineteenth century at the age of 24 and didn’t impact the world in a grand way during her life as some other saints did.

However, after Therese’s death, her writings began to touch the lives of millions and led them to embrace her method of spirituality, known as “the Little Way.” The Little Way emphasizes a profound trust in the mercy of God. It challenges us to embrace our weakness and littleness so we can fully trust in God for all the graces necessary for salvation.

While I’ve known about Therese for years, I struggled to relate to her for the longest time. I tried to read her autobiography “Story of a Soul” many times, but often felt like she was dramatic, emotional, and, if I’m being honest, a bit of a crybaby. She was also this nun from France who never left her convent, so I didn’t understand her.

It wasn’t until I stumbled upon a book entitled “33 Days to Merciful Love” that the spirituality of St. Therese and the Little Way truly penetrated my heart and came to life for me.

In the 33 retreat-style book, Father Michael Gaitley described how Therese often struggled with scrupulosity. She was burdened with the fear of offending God. She had bold dreams and desires — she desperately wanted to be a great saint– yet she felt so little and helpless. In comparing herself to other saints, Therese realized she could never be like them.

However, she also recognized that God would not inspire a desire for holiness in her unless it was possible. So instead of choosing a grand route, she chose a simple path to salvation — the Little Way.

The Elevator to Heaven

The Little Way is actually a discovery of Divine Mercy, the mercy which Jesus extends to everyone. We’ve all heard it said that “Jesus didn’t come for the righteous, but for sinners” (see Luke 5:32).

God doesn’t love us because of how good WE are or because He’s attracted to our talents, gifts or virtues. Rather, it’s because HE is so good that he loves us. He’s actually attracted to our brokenness because He wants to make us whole. He loves us because WE DESPERATELY NEED IT, not because we deserve it (33 Days to Merciful Love, pg. 53).

[ctt template=”5″ link=”5Tipb” via=”yes” ]”God’s actually attracted to our brokenness because He wants to make us whole. He loves us because we desperately need it, not because we deserve it.” #beautifuldepths #choosemercy [/ctt]

The Little Way simply brings this mercy of Jesus to life.

“The Little Way is about the compassion of Jesus who sees the suffering of little souls who long to attain the heights of holiness but who are too little to climb the ‘rough stairway of perfection.’ It’s about the action of Jesus who reaches down out of pity and picks up trusting little souls to place them on the heights (33 Days to Merciful Love, pg. 54).”

Choosing the Little Way is like taking an elevator to heaven because through it we are allowing Christ to pick us up and make us holy. Without His help we can’t get there. It’s actually extremely encouraging because the smaller and weaker we are, the more Christ can help us!

As St. Therese once told her sister, Celine,

“Do not fear, the poorer you are the more Jesus will love you. He will go far, very far, in search of you, if at times you wander off a little.”

Jesus also reminded us of this when He told St. Faustina in an apparition,

“The greater the sinner, the greater the right he has to My mercy.”

Choose Mercy

So I don’t know about you, but I want to choose the elevator to heaven. I choose the Little Way.

But how can we trust in God’s mercy without falling into the trap of relativism, thinking everything is okay and our salvation secure regardless of what we do? (That was an initial fear in my mind when I read about Therese’s spirituality.)

Thankfully the Little Way offers us three actions to help us in our struggle with scrupulosity and dependence on God’s mercy.

  1. Recognize the darkness- We have to understand our brokenness before we can do anything about it. Some of our problems may be with us our whole lives, but that’s okay. There’s always hope, which is why no darkness can prevent us from become saints.
  2. Keep Trying- As Mother Teresa once said, “God does not call us to be successful, He calls us to be faithful.” God doesn’t demand that we be perfect and live out the virtues successfully. Rather, all He requires is that we KEEP TRYING. We may fail, but we can’t stay there. We have to get up and keep striving for holiness. If we mess up, get up, go to confession, and keep pushing forward.
  3. Keep Trusting- If we recognize God is good, then we know He will satisfy the deepest desires in our hearts for holiness. We may not understand what He is doing, but we always have to keep trusting.

Choose mercy, friends. Jesus loves you so incredibly much.

The next time you find yourself anxious or guilty over something you’ve done to offend God, confess it and move on. As long as we recognize our sin, keep striving, and keep trusting, God’s gonna get us to heaven. Promise.

St. Therese, pray for us!

From the depths of my soul,

Josie

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