HOW TO LIVE OUT THE NEW COMMANDMENT
Fact: I have never liked the idea of bending the rules. I actually relish in rules and guidelines.
I’m the student who loves when an assignment comes with thorough and detailed instructions complete with a checklist. I’m that kid who cried in first grade the one day I forgot to get a parent signature on my agenda.
I like knowing what is expected of me. I like clarity. It is freeing to know what the right thing to do is. In all honesty, however, I sometimes take this to the extreme in my spiritual life. There are times when I am puffed up by pride; my “holier than thou” attitude comes out with a vengeance. Other times, I am scrupulous and anxious that everything I do is sinful or not good enough.
I think these are dangers any person serious about living a faithful life may face. I’m learning, however, that it’s not about “following the rules” without fault. It’s about being an instrument of the Father’s love in the world.
So, whether you struggle with scruples or have a problem with pride, this is for you.
LET’S BE CLEAR
Before we go any further, I want to be explicit: morality does matter. I am in no way saying that we can throw the Ten Commandments out the window or that our actions don’t have consequences. There are, indeed, moral truths. Sin is real and the decisions we make about how to act are important.
One thing I love most about the Catholic Faith is that the Church is very clear about morality. Even when there are hard truths, if we take the time to ask questions and seek for Truth, it is clear that these moral teachings have their source in God. These are Truths revealed by Him – either in natural law, His Sacred Word, or by His Son Jesus Christ.
What I want to emphasize is that morality isn’t an end in itself. The question is: what is the motivation for our actions (moral or immoral)? Fear of damnation? Pride? Or is it love of the One who loves us?
THE NEW COMMANDMENT
At the Last Supper, Jesus told His disciples, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments… This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” (John 14:15; 15:12). He then proceeded to lay down His garment and wash their feet, as He would soon lay down His life for love of them. Jesus didn’t ask His disciples to give what they did not have. No, He poured His love out for them so they would be able to give it to others.
In reflecting on these verses, Jesus made it clear to me that living out His commandments was never about pulling up my moral bootstraps and making myself perfect. It’s about receiving the gift of love that He gave me in His life, on the Cross, and in the Eucharist. It is letting Him love me – and then responding in love by loving Him in return and loving the ones whom He loves (hint: that’s everyone).
When Jesus gave this “new” commandment to His disciples, He wasn’t saying that all of the other commandments didn’t matter. Rather, all of the other commandments were summed up and fulfilled in His request that we love one another as He has loved us. When we do this, we are living out every other commandment.
NO PLACE FOR PRIDE
Does God want us to learn from each other about how to lead holy and fruitful lives? Yes. Does He want us to look out for each other and help each other when we fall into actions that are not good or upright? Absolutely.
But God is not asking us to keep score as if holiness was a game with only one winner.
Living out the love of God leaves no room for pride; there is no place for an upturned nose and a “holier than thou” outlook. If we love as God loves, we recognize that every single person who lives, has lived, or will ever live is the person that Christ gave His life for. Every single one of our actions will come from a place of truly wanting the best for the beloved.
MERCIFUL LOVE
On the other side of the coin, Jesus’ commandment puts us face to face with his merciful love. Christ did not ask us to love under any kind of conditions because He has no conditions in His love for us. St. Paul reminds us in his Letter to the Romans, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
Our actions should be a response to the love of God, not an attempt to earn it. If you struggle with scrupulosity, feeling like you are not good enough, or like the best you can give is still bad, remember that Christ already gave His life in love for you. Allow Him to help you up, keep moving forward, and surrender yourself to the merciful love of the Father.
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
I know how easy it is to fall into pride or anxiety on our journey towards God. And I know, for sure, there are a few of you out there reading this who are thinking, “Ok, but this just makes it worse. How am I ever going to love as God loves?!”
To answer that question, I want to leave you with a nugget of wisdom from Fr. Jean C.J. D’Elbée’s book I Believe in Love. In this work based on the teachings of St. Therese of Lisieux, he tells us, “A great desire to love is already a great love” (p. 117).
My friend, don’t forget that holiness is not a contest. Don’t let the scruples steal your peace.
Rather, allow God’s love to stir up in you a great desire to love.
From my heart to yours,
