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No Judgement Zone

No Judgement Zone

REPLACING VICE WITH VIRTUE

Have you ever struggled with making a snap judgement on someone the second you lay eyes on them? To see someone for the first time and immediately think something negative of them or impose some erroneous idea of who they are based off of what they are wearing or what they are doing?

The other day, I was outside when this obnoxiously loud car approached. My first thought was a sarcastic, “Oh, you’re cool.” And I carried on with my business. Then the car slowed down in front of my house to park on the street, and I saw it had fraternity letters on the window. It was one of my least favorite fraternities from my college days so I immediately thought, “Of course, one of those guys would drive this obnoxious car.”

He then rolled down the window and asked, “Excuse me, ma’am, is it okay if I park here?” I was caught off guard because no one ever asks to park there and he was so nice about it—completely contradicting my negative judgements on him. He proceeded to get items from his car and as he walked away said, “Thank you so much again for letting me park here! I hope you have a great day!”

WOW. I judged this guy by his car and his fraternity, assuming he would be a total jerk and he was very polite. Turns out, I’m the jerk.

Repeatedly in the Scriptures we hear these messages: “Love your neighbor as yourself;” “The way we judge other people is how God will judge us;” “How can you see the twig in your brother’s eye but not the plank in your own eye?”

Yet, we can be so quick to see other’s faults before our own. Why is that?

VIRTUE VS. VICE

I think the root comes down to two things: virtue and vice. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “A virtue is a habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself” (CCC 1803). There are seven overarching virtues we can acquire through practice—prudence, justice, fortitude, temperance, faith, hope, and charity. (I’m not going into the details of them today but do encourage you to research the virtues!) When we’re living a life of practicing virtue, it becomes a habit for us to do the best good we can at every moment.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are vices. Vices are the weaknesses—we may or may not be aware of—that cause us to choose to do something that is not the best good. Usually, when we struggle with a vice, it is because we are not practicing the opposing virtue well. In the case of my snap judgement, I think it’s rooted in the vice of pride because I’m lacking the virtue of humility to recognize my own faults.

While reflecting on the above scenario, I couldn’t help but think that I can’t be the only one to struggle with the vices and virtues. I desire sanctity and to choose the best good at all times—but repetitively, I find myself falling. Don’t we all?

STRIVING FOR VIRTUE

While thinking about these struggles, I decided to compile a few practices that can help us to strive together to live out virtue:

1. Daily Examen—this is a form of prayer taught by St. Ignatius of Loyola. It’s rooted in reflecting on our day to see where God was present and discern where He’s leading us. What brought you joy this day? What irritated/upset you today? How did you handle it? How can you do better tomorrow? If something sinful comes up in the prayer, don’t be afraid to seek out the Sacrament of Confession to receive all the grace to help you overcome it!

2. Change Your Viewpoint—I believe one of the most important aspects to overcoming a vice oriented toward other people is willingly viewing them as beloved sons and daughters of God first. I say this secondly because if we don’t recognize what’s in our own hearts, we can’t see when we’re viewing others poorly. So when you’re driving down the road and someone cuts you off, instead of yelling bad names at them, try reminding yourself that this person is loved by God and say a quick prayer they reach their destination safely. Or when you want to think negatively about someone you don’t even know, remind yourself they are just as loved by God as you are and offer a quick prayer for them.

3. Practice the Opposite Virtue—Lastly, take the opportunity to find small ways to practice the virtue opposite of the vice with which you struggle. If you cannot seem to stop scrolling on social media, you may be struggling with temperance. To practice this virtue, try fasting from social media on a specific day or for a specific time to remind yourself it will not fulfill the longing in your heart—only God can. If you’re scared to step away from the office gossip session, you may be struggling with fortitude. To practice fortitude, maybe offer a Rosary for the situation and ask God for the strength to do what is right—whether that’s walk away or to say something lovingly – and then do it.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

If we aim for perfection in the virtues on this side of Heaven, we will fail every time. Instead, let’s strive to be better next time. Let’s strive to not beat ourselves up over our imperfections but rather, allow the failures to be opportunities to be reminded that we need a Savior. In the words of one of my favorite Catholic speakers, Sarah Swafford, “Take a deep breath and say this outloud: “Striving, striving—not perfect—but striving.””

Let’s strive together for virtues to point us toward Heaven, my friends!

All my love,

Kaylee

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