The truth is that I am really afraid of being disliked and forgotten.
There is an endless chorus in my heart underneath everything else that whispers: I just want you to like me. I want to live up to your expectations. I am here; please don’t forget about me.
Some days, I barely notice it. Others, it’s so loud I can’t seem to think of anything else. These thoughts become the source of my decision making and the nightmare that takes over my dreams too often. I become restless, seeking the affirmation of everyone around me. I think that if I do just the right things, I’ll win their approval and they will think of me in the highest light.
As I continue on this journey of life, I repeatedly find my desire to be liked at war with my desire to live for the Lord. Will my faith step on another’s toes? Will this make me sound preachy? Will they make fun of me as soon as I walk away?
If you’re like me, I am sure that you too feel this exhaustion in your bones. Today, I want to encourage you by sharing a little bit about two great saints—saints so beloved in present day that I had no idea they were once overlooked and disliked in their own times. These two saints courageously sacrificed worldly recognition and praise to love the Lord with their whole hearts.
The Little Flower
I am sure you’ve heard of Saint Therese of Lisieux, the beloved Little Flower. This great saint is best known for her “Little Way,” her conviction that the path to holiness is childlike faith in God as a loving Father. She knew she wasn’t perfect, but she believed in a merciful Father whom she could trust to bring her home to Himself. Therese lived this out by giving herself completely in love to every person she encountered and to every task she was assigned. This Little Way has made Therese a Doctor of the Church, and her teaching is considered a guide for the Church in all times.
Today, we praise her for her charity and example, encouraged by her littleness. But did you know that during her lifetime, she was so good at this little way she was often overlooked?
In the investigation for her canonization, her sisters confessed that Therese went unnoticed by those who were not particularly close to her. One sister shared,
“She went unnoticed, due, I think to her simplicity…. her great modesty and her extreme care to hide her virtues under the appearance of an ordinary and very simple life prevented me from noticing many acts of perfection that I have since discovered.”
Other sisters didn’t like Therese at all, thinking she was too good. They would hide from her and speak with contempt behind her back. Therese, even after having been left alone or upon overhearing their harsh words, would greet them with a smile and affection.
Therese looked upon her sisters and the whole world with tender love. Not because it was easy—Therese herself admits that she was incapable of the smallest act of love—but because she believed so firmly in the tenderness of the Father who would help her. She promised, “I will spend my heaven doing good on earth. I will let fall a shower of roses…” upon the very world that forgot and disliked her.
The Dumb Ox
Another well-loved saint is Thomas Aquinas. He is perhaps best known for his great work, The Summa Theologica. This exposition of theology and summary of Christian philosophy answers about 10,000 oppositions to the faith. Saint Thomas Aquinas is now considered the Universal Doctor of the Church because his works have touched all areas of Catholic Doctrine.
This scholar, philosopher, and theologian is now the patron of Catholic universities, colleges, and schools. But did you know that his classmates called him the “Dumb Ox?” Quiet and humble, they mistook him for being dull.
Even before Thomas began his studies, his family worked hard to prevent him from entering into his Vocation as a Dominican friar and priest. Opposed to the beggar lifestyle of the Dominicans, Thomas’ noble family locked him up in a family castle. For two years, they attempted to stamp out his desire for his Vocation. Thomas, however, spent those years dutifully continuing his studies, ready to profess his vows when he was finally released.
Domine, Non Nisi Te
Thomas dedicated his life to the Lord, even when he was called names. Even when his family tried to stand in the way of his love for God.
Thomas’s Dominican brothers once found him in prayer before the Crucifix. They heard the Lord ask him from the cross, “You have written well of me, Thomas. What reward will you receive from me for your labor?”
“Domine, non nisi Te,” Thomas replied. “Lord, nothing except You.”
Saints Therese and Thomas weren’t faced with life-threatening persecutions. They were not pressed to give up their faith in the face of death, yet their persecutions are probably much more relatable to most of us than martyrs or other saints who did huge things for the Lord.
They were made fun of and talked about behind their backs. They were called names, overlooked, and disliked. People tried to stand in the way of their obedience to God.
I imagine myself in Thomas’s place, looking up at Christ Crucified and asked the same question. I imagine that every exhausted bone in my body would whisper, “Lord, please let them like me.”
These moments aren’t a huge part of their stories—because they didn’t allow it. We don’t often talk about them now. These great saints, these Doctors of the Church, show us that there is something much greater that is waiting for us if we would only open our hearts to receive it: the love of the Lord.
My friends, have the courage to be forgotten by the world. To be disliked. To be overlooked. To kneel before Christ Crucified and declare, “Lord, nothing except You.”
Know that you are already loved.
From my heart to yours,
