“I think you should run for Music Ministry President.”
I looked at my friend (and the current Music Ministry President) like she was crazy and told her I was running for re-election as Treasurer. Not to mention that the elections were starting in an hour.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t thought or prayed about it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to run for president. It was that I didn’t think I was capable. But as we made our way to the meeting with boxes of pizza in our hands, my friend convinced me that I could do it – I just had to say yes.
That’s how, in the span of less than 3 hours, I went from not running for the position at all to being elected Music Ministry President for the following school year.
In a way that only God would ever be able to explain, this yes to Music Ministry opened up the doors for me to say yes to my Vocation… because my decision left the person running for Treasurer unopposed.
And that person just happened to be my future husband.
Pursuit
Fast forward to that fall semester.
Truthfully, I had just ended a long-term relationship and I wasn’t looking for a new one. In that season of singleness, God asked me if I would let Him pursue me and, for the first time, I felt that I knew what it meant to rest in God’s love.
Not to say that this season didn’t have its hardships and loneliness, but for the first time, I felt dazzled by the love of God. Everything felt brighter and more wonderful. If you go back and read my journals from this time, every page is practically painted with childlike joy and praise for God.
You might be laughing and thinking that I was oh so naïve, but in reality, it was a season of perfect attentiveness to the pursuit of the Father and there was nothing that I wanted more than for Him to lead my life.
The Biggest Surprise
Over the rest of the year, I served on the Music Ministry Team with three other people who became dear friends. We planned events, chose music for Tuesday evening “Newman” Masses, and helped lead worship together.
Luke, whose apartment was just a little further down the road from mine, ended up giving me rides home from campus ministry events multiple times a week. Through these fifteen-minute car rides, we became not only teammates, but friends.
I learned so much about Luke during that time: his favorite band and instrument to play, how he liked to workout with his friend in the evenings, how he liked to pray night prayer, was leading a bible study, and scheduled daily Mass into his week. He would always ask me about my days, let me sing along to the radio, and asked if he could come visit me in the architecture studio some time. He was funny and kind, diligent and attentive, sweet and prayerful.
I found myself looking forward to our car rides more and more. We started to sit next to each other at daily Masses and free dinners at the student center on Tuesday nights.
In the middle of the happiest season of my life, God threw in the biggest surprise. At the moment I wasn’t looking for him, the man who was everything I hoped to find in a husband was sitting right next to me.
God’s Timing
As I prayed during that season of singleness, I had promised God that I would wait for the man who would take the initiative. In other words, I promised God that I wouldn’t make the first move. I would allow myself to be pursued.
My friendship with Luke continued to grow, and I won’t deny that my feelings were growing, too. I started to wonder if Luke felt the same way. He was as sweet as ever, but he hadn’t made any indication about his feelings. I stayed true to my promise to God, knowing that if Luke didn’t make the initiative, he wasn’t the right man… Even if I wanted him to be.
As my feelings grew, so did my desire to trust in God’s plan. But that didn’t stop me from feeling a bit sad the day after Valentine’s Day when I still was hoping that Luke returned my feelings and had no idea if he did. That morning, sitting outside of the Architecture building, I prayed a Rosary, surrendering Luke and my feelings to the Lord. Although I had been trying to do this all along, that morning felt different. I felt like I had finally unclenched my fists and laid everything at the Lord’s feet. I was His and He was mine. That was enough.
So, you can imagine my surprise when Luke asked if he could take me out on a date that very night.
Surrender
I later came to learn that Luke had been praying over asking me on a date for a while… and had been hearing from God, “Not yet.” You see, God was preparing our hearts for each other by having us turn to Him first. He reminded us that He is our first, true love and our relationship with each other was a complete gift from Love Himself.
I didn’t plan on running for Music Ministry President, but it crossed my path with Luke’s… And in surrendering to God’s plan, His timing, and His love, He showed me that He had been preparing wonderful things for me all along.
At the end of our first date, Luke and I sat across from each other eating ice cream at a table shaped like an ice cream cone, and I felt God promise me in that moment: I will pursue you through Luke.
Always true to His word, He still does to this day.
It’s so easy to want things to go our way, to want to stick to our own plans and timelines. But time and time again, God reminds me that His plan is way better than mine.
Surrender, dear friends. I promise you it’s worth it.
From my heart to yours,
