Rock My World
A while back I was talking with a priest friend of mine about my desire for marriage and the loneliness I was experiencing at the time. I felt this NEED to fulfill my vocation as a wife, and the hopeless romantic in me told me that only then would I be happy.
I knew I was wrong, that only Christ could fulfill me. Yet my strong desire for marriage coupled with my discomfort with solitude made me think that “curing” the lonely ache in my heart was the only thing that would fulfill me.
That’s the way I thought until that priest made a statement that changed my perspective on everything.
He said, “You know, even if you’re called to marriage, there’s a possibility (it might not be very high), but there IS a possibility you will never find your spouse.”
I just looked at him like, wait what? Excuse me?!?
You were supposed to tell me that my fear of never finding a husband is irrational and stuff, not confirm it!!!
I was still processing this revelatory statement when he hit me with,
“So if that’s you. If you never find your future husband, will God be enough for you?”
Priorities
Will God be enough for me???
Well, shoot. I was convicted.
Of course I wanted to respond with an absolute “YES! YES, HE IS ENOUGH! I don’t need no man in my life! I’m an independent woman!” (said in sassiest voice possible).
But in my heart, I knew at that point in my life, I couldn’t answer that question with a resounding yes. My desire for marriage and a Christ-centered relationship was so strong that picturing a future without that sounded miserable.
But God found a way to rearrange my priorities real fast. I realized that while desiring marriage is beautiful, it should and always will come second to my relationship with Him. I should always desire Christ more than I desire marriage.
The Lonely Ache
Everyone, regardless of vocation or life circumstances, will experience loneliness. I used to think that once I was in a relationship or married, I wouldn’t be lonely anymore. However, I realized that everyone experiences times of loneliness. It’s normal. Why?
Because human beings weren’t created for isolation. We were made for love, relationship, community, and others. Loneliness stems from our innate desire to feel love, to be filled up with love.
The question becomes how do we deal with our loneliness?
When we are alone, missing community, missing love, what fills us up? We naturally will search for something to fill the void. The question is not “are we filling up our loneliness,” but “WHAT are we allowing to fill us up?”
Do we think our loneliness will be cured with a relationship? With work? With family? With busyness? With Netflix?
Or do we allow Christ to fill up our hearts when they feel empty, when we crave love and affection?
To All My Single Ladies (And Dudes)
Now for all you single peeps out there like me, you probably feel this to the core. Sometimes, life is lonely. But I want you to understand something: It’s okay.
Loneliness is not a problem. It’s just our heart’s way of telling us we crave love. But only Christ can love us perfectly as we were created to be loved. That’s why we have to understand how badly Christ wants us first and foremost.
“If you don’t know that the God of the universe wants you, it is easy to go searching for that affirmation in others. It can be easy to think that if you just had a boyfriend or girlfriend who wanted you, then you would be satisfied and the void that you feel in life would be filled. But the truth is that no matter how wonderful or holy boyfriends or girlfriends can be, they will never be able to fill that void. It’s just not their job (The Dating Detox, pg. 126).”
I don’t care who your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend is… They can never satisfy you or be enough for you. They just can’t. We’re human. And we long for something divine.
[ctt template=”5″ link=”bcV71″ via=”yes” ]”We’re human. And we long for something divine.”[/ctt]
Sure, they can learn your love languages, love you to the best of their ability with their whole heart. But it still won’t be enough. We long for PERFECT selfless love, and any love from a human is just a reflection of the perfect love of Christ. To put pressure and expectation on a human being to fill us up and make us feel loved all the time – the way only Christ can – is only going to crush them.
I would argue that until we are comfortable being alone and allowing God to be enough for us and fill us up, we will not be happy in any relationship. No relationship will satisfy our hearts because nobody by themselves can. In fact, I would even say that until God becomes enough for us, we will never be able to live out our vocations to the fullest.
I know now that I don’t need a man. I really don’t. Do I want one to share my life and fulfill my vocation with? Absolutely.
But I know the love I have for any human person is just a reflection of how Jesus loves me. So the more I fall in love with Him, the more I’ll be able to love my future husband.
Is He Enough For You?
Wherever you are in life, whether you’re single or married, I hope this reminds you to make sure Jesus is your first love, always. Whether you’re living out your vocation or don’t even know what that is yet, you can still have a very fulfilled and joyful life! The only thing you’ll ever need is in the tabernacle of every Catholic church: Jesus Christ.
Even if you lost everything you loved, you will always have Him. And that in itself should give you unending hope and joy. Nobody else will ever satisfy that longing in your heart to be loved perfectly and endlessly. Our human love reflects the love of Christ, but only HIS love will ever give us fulfillment. He is our only Savior.
So I’m here to ask you that question. Answer it truthfully and honestly…
Is God enough for you? Right now, today. If you lost everything you loved, would He, in His unending love be enough?
If He is, wonderful. Keep striving to be closer to Him.
If you realize you aren’t there yet, praise God that you recognize it! But don’t stay there. The next time you’re feeling lonely and wanting to be filled up with love, go spend time with Jesus. He’s waiting for you in every tabernacle.. So visit him! Spend more time drawing closer to His heart so He can fill you up. He loves you, and all He wants is you to allow Him to enter your heart.
Let Him in. Let Him fill you up. Let Him love you.
From the depths of my soul,
Josie
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