“My love, expect big things.”
These are the words Jesus put on my heart in January of 2017.
“What does that even mean, Lord?”
I asked in return.
As I left the chapel with this question on my heart, I passed a quote from Pope Francis that said, “Ask Jesus what He wants of you and be brave.”
At this point in my life, I was in my second year of service as a missionary, very single and very at peace. I had nothing major planned and wasn’t quite sure what the Lord was preparing for my heart. So when I read those words from Pope Francis, the strangest mix of emotions followed— I wept because I was excited for what the Lord had in store, but also slightly nervous because I had no ideas what He would ask of me.
But let me just say, Jesus is full of surprises.
A few weeks later, I hopped on a bus with several young adults in the diocese to attend the March for Life in Washington, D.C. Sitting right behind me for the 12-hour trip were these two guys—one of whom was loud, bubbly, and wearing a seminarian-style sweater, while the other was quieter with a long beard and a man bun.
By no means was the latter guy my type, but something about him really intrigued me, and I curiously wanted to get to know him more. Fast forward four months, and I was taking my man-bun-rockin-boyfriend to meet my Kentucky family who thinks man buns are for sissies. While I knew they would be thrown off by the hair, I already knew in the depths of my soul: this was my future husband.
Jesus is full of surprises.
If you had told me I would one day marry a Florida surfer boy who rocked a man bun, skateboarded, and worked at a surf shop, I would have looked at you like you had four eyes. Those surface-level qualities were not by any means on my ‘Dream Spouse List.’ Yet, we had only known each other for three months when I knew I wanted to marry him; had barely been dating for a year when we were engaged; and officially hit one year and eight months of knowing each other when we were married. It sounds absolutely insane, right?!
Only it wasn’t—it was evident that it was God’s handiwork and that He had been preparing my heart for this man all along. I knew without a doubt this was the Lord’s will for me because of the way Matthew pursued Jesus’ heart first and mine second. I was challenged to be a better daughter of God by the way he upheld himself in our dating relationship. The areas I struggled in previous relationships were redeemed by Matt’s desire for holiness in our relationship. I never had to question his intentions because he was clear every step of the way. It is said that you know a tree by its fruit. Galatians 5:22-23 tells us, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Every one of these fruits were present in our relationship which reaffirmed my heart’s desire to marry this man.
An Invitation from the Lord
Now I don’t share these aspects to glorify our relationship, but rather to offer hope in a time of year that rubs love in your face, which can be painful for some. As our nation celebrates Valentine’s Day this week, it can be lonely and cause feelings of comparison or despair over other people’s state in life. But maybe the Lord wants you to go on a date with Him and let Him fulfill the desires of your heart instead.
When I was feeling discouraged in my desire for marriage, I sat in a chapel with Jesus and made a list of what I yearned for in a future husband. It was disheartening when one date after another disappointed my standards. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me or that my expectations needed to be lowered. I thought there was no way a man with all of the qualities I wanted would exist. Yet as I spent more time with Jesus, I started realizing the lies as He pointed me to Truth. He is faithful and placed these desires on my heart for a reason—He was just calling me to deeper trust in the waiting.
So I spent time working on my own heart—drawing closer to the Lord, praying three Hail Marys a night for my future spouse (even if that would be the Church one day), and just living out my singleness in the best way I could with my focus on the community around me. And that’s when He surprised me.
The best part about it? He was doing the exact same work in Matthew’s heart to prepare him to meet me, too. Matthew was the bachelor of all bachelors—working out multiple times a day, spending his time with his best friends, and traveling the world. Yet in the midst of it all, he went to Mass and prayed a Rosary daily, frequently talked about the Lord with his friends, and had a deep longing for a wife building in his heart. So when he was invited to the March for Life the night before the bus left, he was free to say yes and free to be just as surprised by Jesus as I was.
Let Jesus Surprise You, Too
While it can be tempting to despair over your state in life in such an overshared media culture, let me just remind you: Jesus is full of surprises…for you! He longs to surprise you with His Love. He aches for you to draw near to Him. He wants to be your first love. He wants you to wake up every day to another beautiful day and hear His voice say, “Surprise! I love you!” He sees you for who you are and He knows the longings of your heart. Will you let Him surprise you?
All my love,
